Maybe this will help you understand

Think of a pair of glasses. Great glasses. Crystal clear. Then you get a smudge on them. Hmmm...kind of annoying but ok. Then you get another smudge. Ok now your vision is a bit impaired but you still have enough vision to get by and get on with your life though it's quite annoying. Now imagine with every passing day the smudges keep popping up and up until you find yourself squinting and eventually you can't even walk because you can't see where you're going. You can't do anything. 

This is how I feel lately. It keeps getting worse, not better. I feel like I'm being hijacked. It's so unfair. This illness is making me look like a lazy nut case who can't cope. THIS IS NOT ME!! If I could take a magic pill and make it go away I'd be happy and have energy, be passionate about my fitness and be a better (not the best) mom. Yeah I would still struggle with watching my son a the time but to a normal degree. Not to this I need help every day degree. I feel like I'm falling apart. It bothers me that I'm becoming a burden on my family. That my husband has to worry about me and pick up the slack when he is already very busy with work.

I hate that I can't workout. I hate that I get anxiety attacks. I hate that all I wanna do is sleep. I hate that I have a date night once a week if I want one but I can't even think of anything I wanna do. I'm living in a fog and things don't bring me happiness anymore. That's very scary.

Right now I have decided since I'm not working out I will cut my carbs in half and up my fats. Low carb is what is right for me right now. It's giving me some piece of mind.