What kind of motivation works for you?

In my experience, I feel like there are three general categories of people.


Group A:
there are some people who fit into the category of what i like to call "tough love". these are usually the strong silent types who don't wear their emotions on their sleeves, don't talk about their problems to anyone who will listen and frankly don't have patience for nonsense. they're usually hard working, many with stressful jobs, who some how seem to manage it all better than the rest of us. i could rattle off 6 names off the top of my head that i know are these types. these are the types who, from what i've gathered after hearing this from most of them, like a doctor to give it to them straight. tell them how it its, no sugar coating. they want that band aid off quick. and a stiff drink. and punch in the face. lol just kidding. but you get the idea.

incidentally the moms i know like this tend to have, from what i can see, great relationships with their kids and are definitely softies for them. it funny to see someone who's tough on themselves and other adults be softies for their kids. its endearing.

these are the ones who tend to enjoy bootcamp/crossfit settings or personal trainers who don't let you get away with anything. they don't like excuses. they're problem solvers. they're blunt. they might come off harsh but they're also the ones who will celebrate your effort and hard work.


Group B:
other people fit into the "sensitive" category. i feel like i could be the president of this category. we basically want people to tell us everything is gonna be ok. that we're doing it right. and basically give us the easiest and less painful solutions to our problems. lol. we're the highly suggestible types. if you heard someone say something worked for them, you're ordering it the next day. we're the ones who have spent ooooooodles of money on every quick fix there's ever been. you might say we're naive. i like to call us optimists. we want the easy way out. always the easy way.

as long as its easy, we'll do it. we're determined to do it as long as its not uncomfortable. we live in the comfort zone. here's our address 123 comfort street. and we have no interest in moving. oh and we complain. alot. to anyone who will listen. we love to talk. we have a tendency to wallow in our own misery and complain how we have all these problems instead of actively trying to fix them.


Group C:
then you have the in betweeners. i like to call these the "happy mediums". the in betweeners are willing to work. they're willing to do what it takes as long as its with the right attitude. they believe in positivity. they're sensitive but tough. and often times they've been through quite a journey and hardships but are able to still see the positive in any situation. often spiritual, they believe in uplifting those around them. they are also human. they have their bad days. they like cookies and cake as much as the rest of us. they don't judge. they're the ones you can tell your troubles to and they will try to help you see the silver lining. they're the ones who will say you're gonna have to work for it but look it can be fun and if i can do it anyone can. they are reflective. they are more self aware. they actively try to solve their problems though for them its an ongoing process and takes deep introspection. Where Group B tries to find answers outside of themselves (placing blame on others, finding happiness in things), Group C accepts their own blame and tries to find happiness within themselves.



Like I said these are general groups. Certainly there's some overlap, but I'm talking in generalities here.


During my journey of self improvement i have run into all three types. Some I have tried to distance myself from and some I have gravitated towards. I see myself moving away from group B and evolving into a Group C person. I'm not there yet. It is a journey and change takes time but i feel like i've made some vast improvements. I still feel like Group A people judge me for not being like them. I feel like the very things that are Group B about me disgust them. Perhaps thats my own insecurities but I can't help but feel there's some truth to it. Group B people definitely have lots of insecurities. Although I have to say I have learned a thing or two from Group A people. I've learned that I am stronger than i give myself credit for. And I guess that the payoff for being tough, you toughen up. After all, if someone is letting you get away with quitting all the time (enablers, like my husband, god bless him) you're never going to know what you're capable of. In the end you're happy they were tough on you because it got you to accomplish something. And that is something that you have to experience on your own, no one can do that for you.

It's all about what kind of motivation works for you. This is what I'm trying to get people to understand. What works for one person may not work for the other.

If someone who wants their ass handed to them in the gym gets a trainer who is soft on them and doesn't push them pass their comfort zone they will feel cheated and like they're not getting what they need. they probably won't see the changes they're looking for.

If someone needs to start at easy in order to mentally accept that this is something they can do and then gradually move up to harder and harder things, that person will be turned off if they get a trainer who is super intense and wants to push them hard right out of the gate.

I'm not saying any of these are better than the other, I'm saying it depends what you're looking for. By the same token you don't want a trainer who is never going to push you. How many of us have gone to the gym with a friend and just ended up talking and not really working out? Sure it was fun but its not going to get you anywhere with your fitness goals.

The goal is always to push yourself. But I believe it should come at your own pace. I also believe in positive reinforcement. I believe in making it fun. I believe in lifting each other up and not tearing each other down.

And I strongly strongly believe that until a person is truly ready to change nothing anyone says will get them to change. It has to come from within. I've had people tell me things all my life. In one ear, out the other. It wasn't until I was ready to listen that things changed.